We all like the occasional drink. Or two. Or three. We also know when to stop. Well, most of us, anyway. But for some of us who have an addictive personality, three isn't enough. And it doesn't even have to be alcohol. It could be drugs. Or cough syrup. In 2009 the Narcotics Control Bureau estimated the number of addicts in the country at 7.5 crore. If you have any stereotyped notions of what an `addict' is, now would be a good time to banish them. We got three men and women, former addicts, to tell us their stories REHAN Cough syrup addict “I AM AN ADDICT. I DIDN'T HAVE ISSUES WHEN GROWING UP. In fact, it was a happy, upper-middle class childhood. Neither was there any alcoholism in the family.
My dad drank every day but in moderation.
It was on a school trip in my 11th standard that I tasted beer for the first time. I hated the taste. But I was still getting sloshed every single day.
By my twelfth standard, most of my core group was using hash, grass and cough syrup. I looked down on every friend of mine who did drugs.About six months later, a new friend pushed me to try cough syrup.
Nothing happened initially. I went home and that's when it hit me. It was such a strong feeling, I couldn't shake it off. In time, I experimented with marijuana, pills, and alcohol but it was cough syrup that kept pulling me. At my peak, I was downing about six bottles daily. I hid it very well and no one found out. It took me a long time to admit I had a problem. At one point, I told my dad.
He said “Buri aadat hai, bete, par chhoot jayegi.“ I wanted to scream no, I'm reaching out for help.
I came to know about Narcotics Anonymous in 1995. During my first days, I thought, this isn't for me. I was sure I could quit on my own. My friend kept pushing me to attend the meetings. At one point, I accepted that I can't fight it on my own. A year and a half later, I was clean. and a half later, I was clean.
The first day was difficult.
There were withdrawal symptoms. Now, it's been over 12 years. Today, I am a marketing professional; I have a beautiful wife, a two and a half year old daughter; there's another baby on the way; I have a wide circle of friends; what more do I need, honestly? RITESH Marijuana addict “I BLAME MY ADDICTION ON THE ENVIRONMENT I GREW UP IN. THERE WASN'T ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR. I was just a loner and stressed out for some reason.
Normal people go from school to college to a job. I went from school to college to not passing out of college and doing drugs.
I first smoked marijuana in my first year because I hated engineering. My parents wanted me to go into the Merchant Navy, another thing I had no interest in. So marijuana was awesome.
Slowly, I started using harder drugs.
There came a point a few years later when I did not remember one moment from the next. I almost went senile. It's not like I didn't realise that my habit was getting out of control. Each time I used drugs, I promised myself that it would be the last time.
It was only a matter of time before my parents found out. Fortunately, they were supportive. My mother asked me if I wanted to go into rehab and I said yes. Less than two hours later, I was in rehab. But 15 days later, I ran away. I roamed around all day in Delhi scoring drugs and doing them in an auto. Four o'clock on a Tuesday morning found me on a strange Delhi road with no money to pay the utowalla. That's when the sense of guilt and shame hit me and hit me hard.
I didn't want to go back into the rehab but I had no choice. DR HIMANSHU SAXENA, SENIOR PSYCHIATRIST, JAIPUR GOLDEN HOSPITAL, NEW DELHI `One in 10 patients is an addict' One in every 10 patients that come to him is an addict, says Dr Himanshu Saxena, senior psychiatrist at Jaipur Golden Hospital, New Delhi. “The older ones are mostly alcoholics, the younger ones do everything from booze to hash and smack,“ he says.
How do groups like Narcotics Anonymous (NA) help addicts?
Getting labelled as an addict is the equivalent of being a `bad' person in the eyes of society.
Suddenly, your social support disappears and if you relapse, it's worse. With every relapse, addicts feel more and more lonely.
With groups like NA, addicts get to meet people who are like them.
That's encouraging.
How is that different from going to a rehab facility?
Rehab comes after a person has been detoxified and counselled on all counts personal, social, financial and occupational. You check in to rehab before joining society; there, you are taught how to handle life on the outside like a r normal person. Unfortunately, many rehab centres in our country have no qualified people.
People who have been helped by NA claim that simply by attending meetings and sharing their experiences with fellow addicts helped them get over their addiction. How does that happen?
Most people cannot overcome addiction on their own because of withdrawal symptoms. When you join something like NA, two things . happen: one, you gradually taper off your addiction. Two, you are with like-minded people so you get reinforcement from your peer group. These are people that addicts can relate to more. It's this support that plays a big part in helping them overcome their addiction.
HOW TO BECOME AN INTERNET CELEBRITY (WHETHER YOU MEAN TO OR NOT) Brunch tracks down the people behind two of the latest Indian viral sensations and finds out just how they did it Shonan Kothari (23) Claim to fame: Organised a flash mob at Mumbai's CST station which saw 200 people dancing to Rang De Basanti right in the middle of the station How did the idea for the CST flash mob video come about?
I wanted the city to just liven up. I wanted us to laugh more. I thought we needed to have more art in the city, popular art, citizen art, etc. Cities all over the world have a lot of cultural activity. I felt that Bombay needed that.
Why do you think it went viral?
I think the fact that it was done with no agenda was very important to its success. It's very pan India; everyone can relate to the location and the song (Rang De Basanti). I think what makes viral videos go viral is spontaneity. That's the thing about the Internet... everyone is always looking at the next big entertaining thing. That said, we did NOT expect it to become so popular. We thought we would get about 10,000 views tops.
At what point did you realise it had become so popular?
Oh, even before putting it up! People at the station had recorded us on their cellphones and even those videos were getting over 20,000 views in a matter of hours! So I knew ours would really rock.
Wasn't it difficult getting permissions to shoot at CST?
It certainly was time-consuming and involved talking to a ton of people! But quite contrary to my expectations, all of them were extremely cooperative and heard me out. So getting permissions was fairly easy. Also, I didn't have to pay anyone off like I thought I would have to! Has life changed after the video?
Yes, lots of people have written to me and there has been such an outpouring of wishes that it's like a dopamine high! I have been interviewed by the The New York Times and the BBC World Service.
Celebrities like Abhishek Bachchan and Akshay Kumar have tweeted about the video too! Shahana Nair-Joshi (24) Claim to fame: Wrote an open letter to a Delhi boy that went viral in September this year So what was with the VERY caustic letter to a Delhi boy?
Nothing particularly. I was bitching about Delhi boys with a girl friend so I wrote it on a whim and posted it to my (recently created) blog. It wasn't based on anything at all, just a rant.
When did you realise it had gone viral?
I didn't even know what viral meant when it did. I didn't even have a Twitter account I was made to open one after I woke up that morning and saw over 7,000 comments on my blog! It became too much and I had to get four friends to moderate and respond to those. Then, I saw #OpenLetterToADelhiBoy trending on Twitter and that's when it hit me.
We heard you received death threats post the letter going viral! Oh yes, I did. And once, I was sitting in a coffee shop and I heard two girls whisper “Isn't that the Madrasan (my screen name)?“ I was a little overwhelmed and I thought somebody was going to hurl something at me any time.
So you become a reluctant Internet celebrity...
Yes, and there are a few pluses: my blog has become really popular, I have a Facebook Fan Page and I have been approached to write by various publications. I am still trying to figure out exactly WHY my letter went viral and I think the humour just clicked with people.
Do you think going viral is simply about getting your 15 seconds of fame?
It depends. I think it's up to you to sustain it.
For example, I have been regularly blogging ever since the letter. I write at least one post a week. I also take requests from readers and write about the topics they care about most. I have got a fairly decent following on Twitter now. I have also discovered a lot of new bloggers since the incident and follow them regularly. I've even been offered advertising space on my blog by a lot of people! hands what happens to it. And I will tell you this: anything that is designed to go viral is designed to fail. You can never plan these things. The success of Kolaveri is nothing but a gigantic stroke of luck for its makers,“ he says.Being spontaneous, believes Kakkar, is 90 per cent of the battle. “If you don't have an open mind and if you plan things in advance, you will never, ever go viral,“ he says and cites the example of the popular `Nothing Official About It' campaign for Pepsi (the longest running campaign in the history of advertising at 25 years). “We were given total creative freedom; we wrote all the lines on the spot on the sets minutes before shooting those commercials,“ he laughs.
So is there no secret sauce? “None, whatsoever. It's luck, luck, luck all the way to the end (or the bank). Whatever they teach you in marketing schools is b******t.“
Meanwhile, at the offices of Sony Music India in Mumbai, a party is on in full swing. Even as you read this issue of Brunch, the official soundtrack of 3 is already hitting your neighbourhood music store, due to release tomorrow. On iTunes in the US and the UK, digital downloads of Kolaveri are going through the roof. “We're releasing a number of products and exclusive merchandise across the country. We are even going to focus on the Hindi-speaking market now and not just South India,“ says Arjun Sankalia.
In the first five days, cellphone service providers saw more than 22,000 downloads; and thousands have Kolaveri as their new dialer tune. Revenues for a single have never been better. You remember when we said that getting a video to go viral on the Internet is like trying to catch lightning in a bottle? Well, the Kolaveri guys just caught it.
Despite the number of avenues available (Facebook, YouTube, Twitter), it's not easy for songs, videos or blogs to get noticed on the Net. Yet some of them go viral and become urban legends. What's the secret? IF YOU MANAGE TO REACH A HUNDRED THOUSAND VIEWS, YOU ARE ON A ROLL
O N THE evening of November 21, 2011, a strange-looking 10-letter word became the number one trending topic on Twitter. No one knew what it meant but everyone was suitably intrigued. The word read #kolaveridi.
Clicking on it opened up a series of tweets, all with links to a YouTube page. Loading the video revealed a wholly unremarkable-looking man singing strange lyrics to a catchy beat in a recording studio as two pretty women looked on.
Closer inspection revealed that one of those women was actress Shruti Haasan. Then, the dam exploded something happened along the way (God knows what!) and the song Why This Kolaveri Di from an upcoming Tamil film called 3 went viral. It broke all records to become the number one searched-for song on YouTube from India. In less than two weeks, it received 17 million views and more than 75,000 comments from over 130 countries. Kolaveri, a chilled out, irreverent song about heartbreak, became the national anthem for a generation of `soup boys' who ensured its popularity by playing it 24/7 on cellphones, in cars, as dialer tunes and more; and Dhanush, superstar Rajinikanth's son-in-law, went from being a South Indian star to a household name. “It was like magic. Like some superior power was at work.
You can't predict these things. Never,“ he says.Indeed, the video has sparked hundreds of spin-offs, sequels, spoofs and remixes, each of which has gone viral in its own right there's a heavy metal version of Kolaveri Di, a Marathi version, a female version, a cute-as-hell version by Sonu Nigaam's four-year-old son and even one that stars go figure Adolf Hitler! The Japanese are dancing to it; heck, there's even Kolaveri merchandise. And despite some criticism lyricist Javed Akhtar called it a song with an ordinary tune, substandard singing and words that insult sensibilities the juggernaut shows no signs of slowing down.
So what makes things go viral on the Internet? As it turns out, there is no easy answer THE RHYTHM'S GONNA GET YOU...
Viral videos are videos with a high percentage of social views. They are videos that become popular no, larger than life through sharing. The hits come from external links, embeds, typed or copied URLs. You would typically stumble upon virals on your Facebook wall shared by friends, in your Twitter stream and sometimes, in your email. But there really is no science to figure out why videos go viral. “Trying to predict which videos are going to `go viral' is a bit like catching lightning in a bottle extremely hard to predict!“ says a YouTube spokesperson (and you thought at least they would know!).
Sometimes, a video can be on the site for months (the famous `Double Rainbow,' a 2010 video about a vivid `double rainbow' at Yosemite National Park in the US that now has over 31 million views) before it is picked up.
Others, like the hilarious `David After Dentist' (a video about a little boy with a cute lisp describing what happened at the dentist) had 10 million views after just two weeks. The most viewed video on YouTube is `Charlie Bit My Finger Again', which got 85 million views in the first year and now has a massive 250 million and is the most watched video on YouTube. “The only thing that we can say about viral videos is that they tend to share a few characteristics,“ says the YouTube spokesperson. “Like any news story, they are authentic, surprising and often topical.“
To be fair, 99 per cent of the videos on YouTube don't get anywhere near Kolaveri's 17 million views. Most are lucky to get even a thousand.
2008's hilarious `Benny Lava' video that featured Prabhudeva is still shy of 30 lakh views even after almost four years. So what makes a video stand out from a crowd? Last year, a company called Dynamic Logic that analyses Internet trends studied popular online videos to solve the mystery. According to them, any viral piece of content should have the following characteristics: It should be unique, something that has never been seen before There should be considerable shock value A local or global community participates and becomes a part of it It has a compelling and heart-touching message All of which, we think, Kolaveri does exceedingly well. “I think the song appeals to so many
STOP PRESS It only takes a day to slow down the ageing process, says Dr Oz
How can a car run for almost 50 years and still look as sharp as the day it rolled off the lot? The answer is simple: proper maintenance. If the tyres wear out, they're replaced. If the oil needs changing, it's changed. Not surprisingly, maintenance is also the secret to a long and healthy life for humans. Think of your cells as anti-ageing mechanics. If you treat them right, by eating well and exercising, they will tune you up on a daily basis. If you don't take care of them, they will go on strike, and you will age faster. You're in the driver's seat. You have the power to slow down the ageing process, and I have the plan.
All you need is 24 hours! 6:00 am DO YOGA, REDUCE STRESS I hope you had a good night's sleep, because we're starting early. I begin each day with a seven-minute yoga-inspired exercise routine. By the time you're 50, your heart has beaten about two billion times. Yoga can repair some of the damage by helping lower your heart rate. It also relaxes your blood vessels and reduces stress, which is especially important as you begin the day. (One recent study found there are 36 percent more heart attacks on Mondays just when people are heading back to work than there are on Sundays.) 7:00 am EAT BREAKFAST, LOOK YOUNGER Now that you're warmed up, let's tackle a common complaint about getting older: wrinkles. Two substances -collagen and elastin -make up the supportive scaffolding beneath your skin, like a hammock. As you get older, the scaffolding starts to break down, like a hammock whose strings have been cut. Even worse, sugar in your bloodstream can latch onto these strings and tie them in a knot, blocking your cells from repairing them. Instead of a sugarladen breakfast, start your day with oatmeal and eggs. Oatmeal's low glycemic index raises your blood sugar levels more slowly, and the protein in eggs boosts your metabolism; a perfect combination that might ward off wrinkles and keep your weight in check.
10:00 am SNACK ON BERRIES, HELP STAVE OFF CANCER Cancer is a frightening thing. I say that from personal experience. Fortunately, some of the most powerful anti-cancer weapons can be found in your pantry. All cells in the body, even cancer cells, need access o the blood supply. Your blood vessels are a highway of nutrients. When a cancer cell starts to grow, even before it's detectable by your doctor, it must build a ramp so it can hijack nutrients from the blood supply. Berries may help prevent that ramp from forming. They also contain anti-oxidants, which reduce inflammation and oxidative stress and may guard against certain cancers.
12:00 pm TAKE A WALK, BUILD MUSCLE Before eating lunch, go outside for a brisk walk. We lose muscle mass as we age, which leaves us weak and our bones vulnerable. Vigorous physical activity can prevent frailty. And 15 minutes in the sun is typically all you need to make your own vitamin D. In one study, scientists found that those with the highest vitamin D levels had longer telomeres (small bits of DNA on the ends of cells that get shorter each time a cell divides) giving these people about five extra years worth of cell division.
3:30 pm SUPERCHARGE YOUR CELLS By middle age you're not only feeling exhausted; your cells are also starting to wear out. The reason? Shorter telomeres. Every time a cell divides, a little chunk of telomere gets spent. When you run out of telomeres, the cell stops replicating. My secret cell supercharger is astragalus, an herb that's been used in Chinese medicine for thousands of years. New studies suggest that a compound in astragalus can affect telomere length in cells. I recommend taking up to 1,200 milligrams of astragalus with a glass of iced coffee or green tea.
6:00 pm EAT FISH FOR DINNER, BOOST YOUR BRAIN HEALTH Twice a week, try serving oily fish such as salmon, tuna, or sardines for dinner.
Omega-3 fatty acids in these fish should help boost your memory. And face it, memory decline may be one of the most obvious signs we're getting older. In addition to eating more fish, reduce your intake of processed meats -bacon, sausage, hot dogs. These foods contain nitrites, which may be linked to Alzheimer's.
8:00 pm HAVE SEX, LIVE LONGER Preliminary studies suggest that frequent sex might add years to your life.
(One European study found that men who had sex less than once a month were twice as likely to die in a 10-year follow-up period as those who had sex at least twice a week.) Set the mood with a glass of red wine beforehand.
Red wine contains resveratrol, which might fight off heart disease.
10:00 pm HIT THE SACK EARLY, RESET YOUR INTERNAL CLOCK Getting enough sleep may be the single most important thing you can do to extend your life. I always try to get at least seven hours of sleep a night. We now know that the best sleep comes between the hours of 10 pm and 2 am, which is when the highest levels of melatonin are circulating in your brain. And, last, if your doctor has prescribed aspirin for heart health, take it right before sleep. A new study suggests that this is when it has the most impact, the same way doing yoga in the morning helps lower blood pressure when you first wake up bringing our 24-hour plan full circle.When it comes to slowing down ageing, just remember: What really works are the smal things, done right, every single day.
Age isn't just an amount of time passed; it's a state of mind. If you think young, and feel young, you will be young.
(Dr. Mehmet Oz is a cardiothoracic surgeon and the host of The Dr Oz Show on NBC.)
HAPPILY MARRIED How nice you are to you partner is as important in a marriage as sexual intimacy, commitment and communication
From tribesmen to billionaire philanthropists, the social value of generosity is already well known. But new research suggests it also matters much more intimately than we imagined, even down to our most personal relationships.Researchers from the University of Virginia's National Marriage Project in the US recently studied the role of generosity in the marriages of 2,870 men and women. Generosity was defined as “the virtue of giving good things to one's spouse freely and abundantly“--like simply making them coffee or tea in the morning--and researchers quizzed men and women on how often they behaved generously toward their partners.
How often did they express affection?
How willing were they to forgive?
The responses went right to the core of their unions. Men and women with the highest scores on the generosity scale were far more likely to report that they were “very happy“ in their marriages. The benefits of generosity were particularly pronounced among couples with children. Among the parents who posted above-average scores for marital generosity, about 50% reported being “very happy“ together.
Among those with lower generosity scores, only about 14% claimed to be “very happy,“ says the latest State of Our Unions report from the National Marriage Project.
While sexual intimacy, commitment and communication are important, the focus on generosity adds a new dimension to our understanding of marital success. Though this conclusion may seem fairly self-evident, it's not always easy to be generous to a romantic partner. The noted marriage researcher John Gottman has found that successful couples say or do at least five positive things for each negative interaction with their partner--not an easy feat.
“In marriage we are expected to do our fair share when it comes to housework, child care and being faithful, but generosity is going above and beyond the ordinary expectations with small acts of service and making an extra effort to be affectionate,“ explains the University of Virginia's W. Bradford Wilcox. “Living that spirit of generosity fosters a virtuous cycle that makes both spouses happier in the marriage.“
Social scientists are now wondering if this virtuous cycle extends to children too. In a study of 3-year-old twins, Israeli researchers have identified a genetic predisposition toward generosity that may be further influenced by a parent's behaviour. Preliminary findings suggest that children with more-engaged parents are more likely to be generous toward others, which may bode well for their future relationships -and their parents' too.
NEW YORK TIMES
To e he Obama administration's verruling scientific opinion to block non-prescription sale of mergency contraception or “morning-after pills“ at chemists has outraged many who want it easily available to prevent unwanted pregnancy after unprotected sex. Unlike in India, where emergency contraceptives are sold along with chewing gum and condoms to everyone without prescription, these pills can be sold without prescription in the US only to those 17 years or older with proof of their age.In India, emergency contraceptives -sold under frequently advertised brand names such as i-pill, Unwanted 72 and Option 7, to name a few -contain low doses of levonorgestrel, a synthethic form of the hormone progestogen cuts chances of unwanted pregnancy if taken within 72 hours of unprotected sex, contraceptive failure, forgetting regular contraception or rape.
The sooner its taken, the more effective it is, with the emergency contraceptive being 95% effective if taken within 24 hours of unprotected sex, 85% if had between 25 to 48 hours, and 58% if taken between 49 and 72 hours.
Levonorgestrel works in three different ways, depending on the time of the month for you. It stops an egg from being released from the ovary; if already released, it prevents the sperm from fertilising it; and if already fertilized, it stops it from attaching itself to the lining of the womb. Medically speaking, a pregnancy is established only after the fertilised egg attaches itself to the womb and since the pill has no effect on a woman already pregnant, it is not an abortion pill, insist its manufacturers.
There's no doubt that emergency contraception serve a need. Though India was among first few countries in the world to allow abortion till 20 weeks of pregnancy under the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act in 1972, an estimated 5 million illegal abortions take place. For every legally-induced abortion, 10 or 11 are done in unlicensed clinics or by unqualified people. And though abortion is successful in 95% cases, it kills 20,000 women each year, reports IPAS, a non-profit group working to reduce abortion-related mortality. India has the world's largest number of unsafe abortions--5 million a year-or a quarter of the global total.
The use of contraception and emergency contraception could end most of these deaths and unwanted pregnancies, but things are not so simple.
The real problem is only 56.3% sexually-active people use contraception in India, shows National Family Health Survey Data-3 (2006). The rest either go for unsafe abortions, or if they can afford it, use emergency contraception to prevent conception.
While pharmaceutical companies tell you emergency contraception carries has no major side effects other than nausea, vomiting, headache, abdominal pain and unexpected vaginal bleeding that last for a day or two, they conveniently omit what its misuse can lead to.
Pop advertising and easy availability at chemists have made it a substitute for regular contraception--such as contraception pills, intra-uterine devices, condoms and spermicides-especially among young people who do not have regular partners. Frequent use--more than once or twice a year-causes fluctuations in hormonal levels and may cause infertility over time.
With over 30 countries worldwide, including the UK and France, having approved its non-prescription use, there's no doubt about its safety.
Provided, of course, that women treat it for what it has been tested and approved for: a pill strictly for use in an emergency.
sanchitasharma@hindustantimes.com
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DAILY GRIND Professionals are quitting regular jobs to work from home
Abhishek Sil, 32, stretches lazily as his alarm goes off at 8 am, gets to his feet and ambles to the kitchen. He loves to cook, so he starts the day by helping his maid make breakfast for himself and feeding his six-month-old daughter Anahita.After a leisurely meal, he sweeps Anahita onto his shoulders and heads to work -in the next room.
“Normally, I would have been stuck in traffic at a Chembur junction right now, cursing under my breath,“ he says, laughing.
In March 2010, the web developer quit his high-pressure job at a digital media company to “reclaim“ his life. “I was happy to sacrifice my hefty paycheque in exchange for a little peace and personal time,“ he says.
“As it turned out, my laptop and I are now making more than I ever did at my day job -and I have the pleasure of looking after my daughter while my wife is at work.“
Sil may be alone in his home office, but in similar homes across urban India -especially in metros such as Mumbai, Delhi, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Chennai and Pune, where IT infrastructure and smartphone services are dependable and accessible -freelancing has taken off.
Young professionals facing burnout from their long commutes and endless workdays, exhausted by the constant pressure of meeting targets and deadlines while trying to find time for their loved ones or hobbies and interests, are choosing to step out of the rat race and go it alone, quitting their jobs and turning to the internet and social networking sites to find freelance projects that they can enjoy and complete at their own pace.
“Internet connectivity and social networks have helped people connect with clients around the world and find work easily,“ says Mahesh Murthy, managing director of venture capitalist firm Seedfund. “Young professionals are also more open to such work patterns and potential risks these days, thanks to a changing work-life attitude. And, of course, technology has made money transfers smoother, meaning that freelancers don't have to worry so much about the mechanics of getting paid.“
Helping this growing number of freelancers find work are online professional networks such as LinkedIn, dedicated platforms such as elance.com and job search engines such as Naukri and Monster.
A search for Indian freelancers on global job portal elance, for instance, throws up about 65,100 results from a total of more than 10 lakh freelancers registered worldwide.
And “artificial offices“ such as Jaaga -a `creative common ground' in Bangalore -and public space The Hub in Mumbai are seeing scores of freelancers turn up to claim a free workspace for the day or sign up for weekly and monthly schemes.
“One of the biggest grouses freelancers have is the loneliness of working by yourself,“ says Freeman Murray, co-founder of Jaaga: Creative Common Ground, an initiative that provides co-working space to freelancers, start-ups and ethical hackers. “To counter this, some groups have started organising meets or creating artificial offices, like we have, where you get a creative social environment similar to a company.“
Such spaces also offer freelancers a venue to bounce ideas off each other or just chat during breaks. Most importantly, these spaces provide technical support in the form of wifi connectivity, printers and scanners, for monthly fees as low as R2,500.
Since Jaaga opened two years ago, the takers for its workspaces have nearly doubled, to 40 per month. In Mumbai, The Hub has a total of 15 takers for its monthly and weekly packages at any given time, up from two when it launched in 2009.
Back at his Thane home, Sil is taking a break to play with his daughter. The loneliness and lethargy of working alone are definitely downsides, he admits. But at least he no longer has to deal with the exhaustion of a 10-hour workday and a fourhour commute to Lower Parel.
“The trigger for me was when I was diagnosed with high blood sugar levels and told to exercise every day,“ he says. “Where was I going to find the time to exercise?“ Determined to find a solution, Sil saved up for a year, quit his job and decided to freelance temporarily, till he could find a job closer to home. In a few months, as word spread between happy clients, Sil was being offered so many projects from across India and abroad that he was earning up to R1 lakh a month -up from R70,000 at Hungama.
“It was much easier than I thought it would be,“ he says. “I sometimes feel guilty to have it so easy when everybody I know is still toiling away.“
MIXED DOUBLES The global economic crisis, coupled with India's perception as a growing power, has had a fallout on the marriage market -- for many, it's now cool to marry an Indian and live in India
Delhi-based marriage broker Gopal Suri is all smiles: the global recession has been good for his business. With a large number of Indians coming back to settle in India since the last three years, the number of marriages for NRIs returning home that Suri arranged this year was three times the number he did in 2010. “Eighty percent of the boys born between 1975-80 had shifted in the 90s to countries like the US to study and work. For the girls in the same bracket, the ratio became like 1:15. Now the same lot is returning to marry and settle here,“ he says.The reverse trend began with the slowdown in 2008 explains Chennai-based Murugavel Janakiraman, founder of a popular marriage portal. “The fall in demand for NRI grooms was at its peak in 2008-09 when we noticed a 20% dip.“ This was also the time when issues like job insecurity and economic downturn were at their worst. Reports indicate that up to three lakh NRIs may return and settle in India by 2015. While that seems too optimistic, he says 20,00030,000 are expected to return home.
In the last 10 years, there has been tremendous change in India in terms of lifestyle, salaries and growth opportunities. According to a 2010 Associated Chambers of Commerce & Industry report, the Indian economy will create nearly 90 million new jobs by 2015. Geeta Khanna, who started her marriage consultancy three years ago, says there is a section of NRI men who want to marry Indian women with the intention of moving back. “India emerging as a financial powerhouse, the economic crunch in the western economies and a higher redundancy rate is responsible for the reverse migration,“ she says. The migration is largely in families that have large businesses or financial interests in India.
Rekha Vaid, marriage counsellor with a marriage bureau in Delhi, says nearly half of their clients are NRIs who want partners from India. “With travel becoming easy, economies opening up, they feel that settling in India is better.“
With the rising level of affluence and job opportunities, successful women today have more choices within India and their own cities, when it comes to choosing a life partner. “They feel professionals in India are as smart, qualified and well-paid as their NRI counterparts,“ says Janakiraman. Many successful women are not keen on quitting high-paying jobs in their cities and moving to the West, where it may take years to get working visas or jobs. “They are no longer looking to marry Indian men who live and work overseas, even though they may be professionals themselves. This is because there is greater physical comfort living in India which they don't wish to compromise on. This is a reverse in thinking of the Indian woman, who earlier thought living in the US or UK was what dreams were made of,“ says Khanna.
Not just Indians, expats too are settling with Indian partners. “Some foreigners in India are marrying Indian women they meet on their postings,“ says Khanna. Vaid says they've been getting 3-5 cases a year of foreigners looking for Indian brides. “We recently had an Australian family looking for an Indian girl. According to them Indian girls are traditional and cultured. NEW DELHI Chirantan & Elizabeth Guharoy Moved to Delhi from America to live with parents. More hopeful in his second attempt to settle down in India due to the boom in the economy `Our friends kept saying `see you in Delhi soon''' C hirantan Guharoy, a 34-year-old entrepreneur, met his wife, Elizabeth, 32, when they were each pursuing their MBA in Boston University in 2005. A few days after graduation, they were engaged, and the next year they were married.
They even held a ceremony in India.
Initially, they were constantly on the move and lived all along the east coast of America -New York, Baltimore, Boston, Dallas -but eventually they decided to settle in Delhi where they now live in a three-storey house in Chittaranjan Park with Chirantan's parents. Their daughter, Ella, turns one on Christmas day.
The Guharoys made the big move in August last year owing both to Chirantan's father being ill and greater business avenues in India.
Elizabeth's parents weren't entirely happy about the decision, but “they understood the reasons behind it,“ says Chirantan. Elizabeth, who had never been to India before, stayed in America long enough to give birth to her daughter in California, and then she too came to Delhi in March.
Her parents have even visited them thrice since they moved.
The couple has never looked back.
Even though Elizabeth struggles with the little Bengali and Hindi that she has picked up, the two, or rather three, are happy with the life they have made for themselves. Chirantan looks at it as his second attempt in India, admitting that he returned for a year-and-a-half after the 9/11 World Trade Centre terrorist attack, but “things didn't pick up so well back then.“ Now, with the global balance tipping away from the West, he says that broad trends would have brought him to India regardless.
“Our friends kept saying `we'll see you in Delhi soon anyway,'“ he says.
Moving back has given him many opportunities which he didn't have in the United States. He simultaneously works on multiple projects -including setting up an online webstore for apparel and fashion accessories -and now has branched out into cross-border endeavours like real estate and venture capitalism.
Elizabeth has no cause for complain either as her job as an IT business analyst with a top American consultancy firm allows her to work from home on New York hours, and still spend enough time with her daughter. “I can manage to keep my fingers in the pot or toes in the water.
What was that saying?“ she muses.
They are also glad that Delhi has an expat-baby circle where they have met other couples like themselves, and have found a place where Ella can play with other children her age, as well as participate in plays and musical performances.
Would they have moved to India twenty years ago? “No chance!“ says Chirantan. “Even in 2002, things were vastly different“ he says. But now he looks at the US as a middleaged family with a quiet life where you play golf on the weekends. “India is an adolescent young man full of energy, speed and testosterone, not to mention insanity. There are lots of challenges -infrastructure, development, etc -but hopefully India will go a long way.“
-Samar Khurshid MUMBAI Edward Sonnenblick, Sonal Mehta Chef-turned-actor, Edward Sonnenblick doesn't rule out the possibility of restarting his career as a chef in Mumbai `I never thought I would not return to California' C hef-turned-actor, Edward Sonnenblick, from California met his Mumbai-based wife Sonal Mehta, a freelance creative director, in 2008. Sonnenblick, who does meditation, had earlier visited India in 2005 for a two-week course at the Vipassana Centre in Igatpuri. But in 2008, his purpose of visit was entirely different.
He saw Lagaan and started reading books by Indian authors. He also began to learn Hindi. “I loved Hrishikesh Mukherjee's 1972 Hindi movie Bawarchi,“ says the forty-one-year-old, who first met Mehta as a model for an ad film audition. “I had been a chef for 17 years. I had reached a stage where I wanted to snap out of my complacency and challenge myself in newer ways,“ says Sonnenblick. But, why Bollywood? “I was watching too many Hindi movies at that time and I had visited India before, so I just thought of giving it a shot,“ he says. “But I never thought that I would find my wife here and will never return to California.“
Mehta, on her part was shocked to hear a “gora“ (white) humming Hindi songs on the first day of the shoot. “He was this non-fussy, chilled out model,“ says Mehta who had first considered replacing Sonnenblick because he didn't look the part, that of an old bossy expat. After dating for a year and a half, they got married in June 2009.
“My parents' first concern was that I would move to USA after marrying an American,“ says Mehta. Sonnenblick chips in, “I don't think we need to. We are both in the creative field.
Plus, there are enough economic prospects to explore in India now.“
-Humaira Ansari BANGALORE Alex Dias, Kirthi Kishore Alex, a Cuban-American dancer is engaged to Kirthi, also a dance professional `We have pretty much the same emotional needs' A lex Diaz is a first-generation CubanAmerican. He grew up in New Jersey, USA, where he also received his formal education. About seven years ago, prior to switching careers to becoming a full-time salsa dancer, he was an IT professional. Today, he has settled in Kormangala area of Bangalore and runs a salsa dance school. He is now engaged to Kirthi Kishore, a Bangalorean, also a professional dance instructor.
Alex, one of three siblings, came to India for the first time in December of 2006. Initially, his intention was to come for a short visit, conduct workshops and then return. However, he decided to stay and pursue his career in India.
He met Kirthi in early 2007 through mutual friends.
It wasn't until about mid 2010 that they began dating and in August of 2011 they got engaged.
Talking of what made him fall in love with his Indian wife-to-be, Alex says, “She is the perfect life partner for me.
She accepts and loves me irrespective of my many flaws. She laughs at my jokes. We share the same profession, so our career interests are alike.“ He feels that though the Indian lifestyle is different from the American one in many ways, it has common grounds.
“We have pretty much the same emotional needs,“ he says.
His future plans are to nurture a wonderful and loving family. “I plan to continue promoting salsa and other dance forms at our academy,“ he adds.
-Naveen Ammembalala John Fennecy, Swetha John met Swetha in 2003 while he was studying in Auroville. He was interning on an organic farm there, and she was interning as an architect `India has old traditional ways of doing things, I like it here' J ohn Fennecy first came to India in 2003 as a student studying environment, community and spirituality in Auroville, near Pondicherry.
This US-national was drawn to India out of curiosity to experience a culture that has an ancient history, and to see the world from a different perspective. He met Swetha in 2003 while he was studying in Auroville.
He was interning on an organic farm there, and she was interning as an architect.
They fell in love and came to Sarjapur on the outskirts of Bangalore and settled there since 2008. She has been working in an IT company and they now have a sixand-a-half month-old baby girl.
“The Indian way of living is very different from the American way. For someone who is concerned about the environment and sustainable living, I find India to be a better place for this lifestyle because there is that old traditional knowledge here of doing things without machines. People here are very resourceful. There seems to be much less waste generated by this society than by the people in the USA,“ says 32-year-old John.
John is a violinist and his mother is a violin teacher. His family is back there in the US, but they often come and visit, while John and his wife go there almost every other year.
He admits that some of his friends like being settled in India as well. He says, “We have quite a few friends around Auroville near Pondicherry who are foreigners married to Indians. We are leading a happy and calm life here in India. I love this nation and people.“
-Naveen Ammembalala `She is Indian enough, she bargains with the vegetable seller' Smarajit & Ludmilla Chakraborty Left Russia to set up home in India I t seems like a complete role reversal. Smarajit Chakraborty points out the problems in the way the country is being run while his wife Ludmilla quietly points out that it is not `all that bad'.
“I am much more accepting of India's faults,“ says the Russia-born artist who migrated to India after getting married. It was a move that went against the trend 18 years back when Indians stayed in the country of their spouse -but for the couple there wasn't a choice.
“I had to come back. I could never imagine staying in any other country,“ Smarajit says. “He is too Indian to stay anywhere else,“ Ludmilla explains.
The two met in 1993 when Smarajit went to Tver, Russia, for higher training after completing his studies at the Maulana Azad Medical College, Delhi. At that time, cultural exchanges and student exchange programmes between the two countries were common.
“I knew quite a bit about India culture because of these exchanges and I liked what I saw,“ Ludmilla says. The two got married in 1995 and shifted base to India soon after.
“It was, no doubt, a big move for me. I had never thought of living anywhere other than Russia before that but after getting married, everything changed,“ Ludmilla says.
Ludmilla's parents were worried when the couple took the decision to move to India. “It took some convincing, but they knew I would be alright with Smarajit,“ she adds.
Once in India, Ludmilla found that the country fed her art. She found inspiration in the painting schools and researched the ethnic culture.
“When I came to India, I found many things that attracted me. I met many people who were interesting and also interested. It made the transition much easier,“ Ludmilla says.
She has, in fact, become more and more Indian over the years. “She is Indian enough to be able to bargain with the vegetable seller,“ says her husband.
But would the couple have decided to come back to India had they got married in 1980s?
“There are two kinds of people who go abroad. Those who leave for good and those who will come back. I always belonged to the second category,“ Smarajit says.
-Mallica Joshi
CAPITAL IDEA The birth of New Delhi was announced on December 11, 1911. Exactly a hundred years later, through essays and luxurious images, Delhi: Red Fort To Raisina charts the journey of India's pre-Mughal and Mughal capital to the British Raj's new capital that would become the city that it is today. An exclusive preview
Confession: This one is really throwing me!! I feel PUNCHED IN THE GUT and completely taken advantage of. I'm choosing to feel it rather than "positive it away" for this day. My prayer is that there is PROOF today at 2:00 of an internal justice system…Even as I write this i know i'm only hurting myself with my anger…I can feel it in my shoulders and back. I will learn from this experience i know…and yet i'm still HUMAN.
I'm posting this so all the people out there thinking my life is perfect get to see i have a heart, feelings, i hurt and i have bad days JUST LIKE WE ALL DO. I promise to be back to mymoreupbeatself tomorrow!! For now i'm gonna go have a good cry!! Please send me a babyounce of positive energy this afternoon as i handle this one ~♥~
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░░★★:::My one dear friend shared this picture with me. He gave some outstanding description about it.:::★★ ░░
Description→ This tree took 15 years to grow in that shape. In summer it provides shade too. As you can see, the branches that come out of the trunk have been bent in shape and held like that for about 2 years, after which the branch's pulp hardens to become woody. Then the next bend is shaped and so on. Just let it grow and become woody.
Like a tree,
stand vigilant-alive
and connected
and alone-empty-vibrance
When it appears (just on the surface) tensioned-dismal
you may go out at times and wander and roam---
but believe in your light, dear one, believe,
you can always find your way home.
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