I AM WELL OFF , DON'T CRY RECESSION

क्यों डुबाते हो दूसरों को अपने गम के प्याले में,
क्यों करते हो दर्द का इज़हार ..
जन्नत उसी में है जब लोगों को गुमान हो
की खुशियाँ तेरे दामन में हैं हज़ार ..
बिखर जाने दो पंखुरियां तेरी 'मुस्कान' की इतनी
की दूसरों के उजड़े चमनो में आ जाये बहार.. .... )

"तुम ग़लत या हम ग़लत,
तुम सही या हम सही........,
इस बात का राज न जाने कब खुले !
छोड़ो इन बातों में अब क्या रखा है ?
गर मिले फुर्सत कभी ,तो सोचेंगे यही की ,.
ये ज़ालिम ज़माने कि साजिश ही रही
असल में थे तुम भी सही, और हम भी सही.?

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मनु,"डेडी, ज्यादा काबिल कौन है मैं या आप?"

डैडी, " मै, क्योकि मैं एक तो तुम्हारा बाप हुँ, दुसरे उम्र मे भी तुम से बडा हुँ और मेरा तजुर्बा भी तुम से ज्यादा है।"

मनु, "फ़िर तो आप जानते होगें कि अमेरिका की खोज किस ने की थी? "

डैडी, "कोलम्बस ने की थी"
 मनु, "कोलम्बस के बाप ने क्यों नही की, उसका तजुर्बा तो कोलम्बस से कही ज्यादा होगा  न ?????

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दिल्ली जाने वाली एक बस खचाखच भर चुकी थी। एक बुढिया बस रुकवा कर जबरदस्ती चढ गई। कंडक्टर के मना करने के बावजूद उस ने कहा मुझे ज़रुरी जाना है। किसी ने बुढिया को सीट नही दी। अगले बस स्टैंड से एक युवा सुंदर लडकी बस मे चढी तो एक दिल फैंक युवक ने अपनी सीट उसे आँफर कर दी और खुद खडा हो गया। युवती ने बुढिया को सीट पर बैठा दिया और खुद खडी रही । युवक अहिस्ता से बोला, " मैने तो सीट आप को दी थी।" इस पर युवती बोली, "धन्यवाद, लेकिन किसी भी चीज पर बहन से ज्यादा मां का हक होता है।"

MY EARINGS WERE TOO HEAVY FOR MY EARS , MY BODY HAS PROTECTED THEM FROM CHAIN SNATCHERS?

PROTECT YOUR FACE BOOK " ID"

Life runs on two simple golden rules."Accept" &"Change".'Accept' the thing which you can't change or'change' the things which you can't accept...?..There is no middle path.
Life in every body's TENURE puts two challenges , accept changes as they come in your way, and live. OR be adamantly rigid , reject the change and perish in resistance , OTHER LONG ROUTE IS TO EITHER CHANGE YOUR SELF OR THE CHANGE ITSELF IF YOU CAN?
Many a time people complain that they've been cursed with bad luck, but i've learnt in the past week that most of it arises from their own socially unacceptable behaviour and ethics that repels everyone, luck and maybe God as well and that's what keeps them in the state they are in. I could be wrong, but that's what's boggling my mind today
Luck, Destiny , bad luck, good luck, failures and successes are of our own lineage & inheritance . some times despite our best efforts we fail in our life ? does it mean that we will never succeed ? we have to learn some fundamentals of success, :-
( 1)How we carry our personality and interact with the world?(2) How our mind has been programmed throughout our learning life.(3)whether we have the courage to give up our unpopular unethical social fabric to turn a new leaf and move over to success?very few people drink daily from the huge ocean of knowledge and feel addicted to it? but most will taste and vomit saying it is brackish & "It is not my cup of tea"
wife takes seriously ill husb to doc.
Doc says to wife: give him healthy b/fast daily, be pleasant & in good mood, cook tasty dinner & dont discuss your prob with him, stop watching TV serials, dont demand new clothes. if you can do this for one year, your husb will be ok.  on way home, husb asks wife - wt did doc say?
 wife: Doc ne to jawaab de diya ji, kaha bachna mushkil hai...cheers :))

Yesterday was history,Tomorrow is a mystery,Today is the gift that's why it is called" THE PRESENT.". :)

Two ladies were fighting in bus for a seat .both claiming to have occupied the seat first .Conductor: (Thinking ) O.K. The elder one should take the seat.Both ladies rose and started asking each other: "Didi, you came first,you sit please...........:)Moral of the story ............................ ladies are age sensitive.♥♥♥

Live without pretending, 

Love without depending, 

Listen without defending, 

Speak without offending

कुछ  बे वजह  ख्वैशें  हैं , इस  कदर  ज़िन्दगी  में .. .

की  ज़िन्दगी  गुज़र  रही  है , उन  ख्वैशों  की  वजेह  से ... 

Nothing you love , will be lost. 

Not in real terms. 

Things, people ,friends ,relatives, parents.they will

always go away,for ever, sooner or later. You can't

hold them,for ever, any more. But if they've touched

you, if they're inside of your heart, then they're still

 yours. The only things       you ever really have are the

 ones you hold inside your heart....

Biwi ne apne husband ko letter likha
par full-stop nahi lagaye!
Jab yaad aya to jaldi jaldi andaze se full-stop laga diye,
Phir letter kuch yun ban gaya

... "Aap ne kai din se pyar bhara khat nhi likha meri saheli Salma ko.
... Nokri se nikal diya hy hamari cow ne.
Bacha diya hai Uncle ne.
Cigarette peeni chorh di hai maine.
Bohat khat likhe par tum nahi aaye kabutar ke bache.
Billi kha gai hai ek khubsurat larki.
Meri saheli ban gai hai Reema.
Is waqt t.v pr dance kar rahi hai hamari murghi.
Aaj kal Anda nahi de rahi tumhari maa.
Tumhen bohat yaad karti hai jamadarni.
naali saaf nahi karti aaj kal
Aap ki behen. shadi karne wali hai aap ki pyari biwi


Munna Bhai writing his medical entrance exam,gives definitins as follows:-
*Antibody:Against everybody
*Artery: Study of fine paintings
*Genes:Blue denims
*Labour pain:Hurt @ work
*Microbes: Small dressing gowns
*Cardiology:Advanced study of playing cards
*Cat Scan: Searching 4 lost cat
*Coma: punctuatn mark
*Bacteria:Back door 2 a cafeteria
*Liposuction:French kiss good evening ji.













DIARY OF A UNBORN BABY;
15 jun: I got attached with ovary
17 jun: I m a fertilised ovum now
30 jun: Mom said to " u r gng 2 be a father"
MOM & DAD very happy..:~))
15 jul: my food is wt my mom eats.
15 sep: i cn feel my hrt beat.
14 oct: i hv litl hands, legs, head and a tummy
13 nov: today i was in an ultra-scan. wow!! !! My Mom Saw ME...♥
I m a girl
14 nov: "I WAS DEAD":(
my mom and dad killed me
WHY????

DO YOU HAVE AN ANSWER ?????????!!!!!!!!!!
~♥~


‎"If you have something to do that is worthwhile doing, don't talk about it, but do it. After you have done it, your friends and enemies will talk about it."

````"Things will happen in your life that you can’t stop, but that’s no reason to shut out the world. There’s a purpose for the good and for the bad, The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you; It is when you don't understand yourself.






















A Good Heart & A Good Nature Are Two Different Issues
A good heart can win many relationships, ......but
A good nature can win many good hearts.


If u have magnetic personality and still u can't attract a girl towards u.
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that means.
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the girl has "IRON DEFICIENCY"..:D


LoveLetter frm punjaban jatti to husband.

O mere dil de chain,
tere piche kutte pain,
Tu luteya mere dil da chain,
rabb kare tenu keede pain,
Tere nain bade nashile,
jive jharu de tille,
Tu mere dil vich eddan vasea,
jive chikad vich saand fasea,
jane jigar jane tamana,
edhar aa terian lattan phanna=)):'(


Who was the first Indian,who declared that he was GAY.
"MANOJ KUMAR".Bcause he sang-Bas,yahi apradh mai har bar karta hun, AADMI hun AADMI se pyar karta hun...

Birth was not our choice,
Death will not be our choice,

But the way we live our life is our choice,
Absolutely ours!
So enjoy every single moment as much as you can..!


It Was Happening In A Hospital That ICU Patients Died In Same Bed Every Sunday At 11 AM.

Dr. Thought It Is Something Super Natural...

Worldwide Xpert Team Was Formed To Investigate The Cause... Next Sunday,Few Mint B4 11 AM,All Dr. & Nurses Stand Around That Bed & Start Waiting 2 C What It Was? Then Suddenly A Sardar (Part Time Sunday Sweeper) Entered The ICU, Unpluged The Life Support System Of That Bed & Pluged In His Mobile Charger...:-D




HEIGHT OF BADLUCK :

Boy: Marry Me.. ?
Girl: Do You Have A House.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do You Have A BMW Car.. ?
Boy: No..
Girl: How Much Is Your Salary.. ?
Boy: No Salary.. But,..
Girl: No But. You Have Nothing.. How Can I Marry You.?? Leave Please.!!

Boy: (Talk To Himself) I Have One Villa,
3 Property Lands,
3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I Still Need To Buy BMW.?!
How Can I Get The Salary When Actually I'm The BOSS.. :P


Wo Kya Cheeze He Jo wife Apnay hsbnd Ko Sari Umar Nahi Deti?

Socho ?

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Socho ??

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Socho

CHAIN KI SAANS


Best line said by a friend :

I have never gone AWAY FROM YOU...

It is just that OTHER PEOPLE CAME CLOSER TO YOU..
AND U COULDN'T SEE ME IN THAT


Two men are out just fishing quietly and drinking beer.

Almost silently, not to scare the fish, Bob says, 'I'm gonna divorce my wife. She hasn't spoken to me in 2 months.'

Charles continues slowly sipping his beer then thoughtfully says, 'You better think it over, Bob. Women like that are hard to find.'


If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”
PRINCIPLES OF LIFE
(1) No point using limited life to chase unlimited money.
(2) No point earning so much money you cannot live to spend it.
(3) Money is not yours until you spend it.
(4) When you are young, you use your health to chase your wealth; when you are old, you use your wealth to buy back your health. Difference is that, it is too late.
(5) How happy a man is, is not how much he has but how little he needs.
(6) No point working so hard to provide for the people you have no time to spend with.
(7) Remember this -- We come to this world with nothing, we leave this world with nothing!
(8)The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do




The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.


Koi aankhon aankhon se baat kar leta hai,
Koi aankhon aankhon mein mulakat kar leta hai,
Mushkil hota hai jawab dena,
Jab koi khamosh rehkar bhi sawal kar leta hai.


“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.






The phone rings at Federal Drug Enforcement Agency headquarters.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this the Federal Drug Enforcement Agency?"

"Yes. What can we do for you?"

"I'm calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding cocaine in his firewood."

"Thank you, this will be noted."
Next day, the Drug Enforcement agents come over to Tom's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no cocaine, swear at Tom and leave.
The phone rings at Tom's house. "Hey, Tom! Did the Federal Drug Enforcement guys come by?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they chop your firewood for you?"
"Yeah, they did."
"Okay, now it's YOUR turn to call. I need my garden plowed."


Amitabh Bacchan ----

mere paas rocket hai,

shurli hai,

chakri hai,

murga bumb hai,

... ... anaar hai,
tumhare paas kya hai?
Shashi kapoor ----
mere paas
maachis hai!:-)

LIGHTER MOMENTS OF OUR TENSE LIFE !

Another one from OUR FRIENDS; but again a joke; not to hurt sentiments of any friend:OR           FOE
Similarity between
"GANDHI"
"SALMAN"&
"MALLIKA"?
Tino ne kapdo ka tyag kiya tha.
Ek ne"DESH"ke liye,
Dusre ne"ASH"ke liye,
Tisri ne"CASH"Ke liye

Hansna mana hai

 WEEKEND MASTI CONTINUES!!!

 Both Eyes are best companions  they see together. Dono ek sath jhapakti hain, Roti hain, Soti hain, aur kambakht marney par band bhi ek sath hoti hain ? But if they see a beautiful Girl, keval ek hi jhapakti hai::: DOOSRI KHULI  KI KHULHI REHTI HAI

 Moral- A beautiful Girl can break any  STRONG RELATION HOW EVER strong IT MAY BE EVEN IF it is our own body parts.( No offence to any of my Beautiful friends... Just a Joke)!!!!! ;) ;)

Hansna mana hai

 WEEKEND MASTI CONTINUES!!!

 Both Eyes are best companions  they see together. Dono ek sath jhapakti hain, Roti hain, Soti hain, aur kambakht marney par band bhi ek sath hoti hain ? But if they see a beautiful Girl, keval ek hi jhapakti hai::: DOOSRI KHULI  KI KHULHI REHTI HAI

 Moral- A beautiful Girl can break any  STRONG RELATION HOW EVER strong IT MAY BE EVEN IF it is our own body parts.( No offence to any of my Beautiful friends... Just a Joke)!!!!! ;) ;)

LIGHTER MOMENTS OF OUR TENSE LIFE !

Another one from OUR FRIENDS; but again a joke; not to hurt sentiments of any friend:OR           FOE
Similarity between
"GANDHI"
"SALMAN"&
"MALLIKA"?
Tino ne kapdo ka tyag kiya tha.
Ek ne"DESH"ke liye,
Dusre ne"ASH"ke liye,
Tisri ne"CASH"Ke liye

WITH NO MALICE TOWARDS ANY ONE ?

 ( Just JOKES not to hurt any one) 

1::: What's Difference between GOD, TAILOR, GIRLFRND, & WIFE ? 

      GOD SCULPTURES TO MAKE A MAN;-------

 

2;;; TAILOR makes him: Gentleman.

      GIRL FRIEND makes him : He-Man

      & WIFE makes him a DOBERMAN. ?????

  JOKE NO 2::::: Sita ji ke vanvaas jane mein bahut badi seekh hai.

   Wah wah..WAH AND WAH/?????. 

   Sita ji ke vanvaas jane mein bahut badi seekh hai.

   Ghar me  AGAR ,3-3 saas ho to jungle hi theek hai....:))) Courtesy Monica          Chauhan