A FEW EASY LIFE TIPS TO PONDER 07012019

Wife casually calls her husband at the office one afternoon:
Wife: Hi, Kaise ho?
Husband: Theek hun.
Wife: Aaj kya khaya Lunch mean?

Husband : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain, kya khaya,

 kaun sa Serial dekha, kaun sa Song suna....
Wife: Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how should RBI fight these 

inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the Money

Markets? And what should be the role of the Finance Ministry to control inward

Foreign remittances? ??

Husband : (after a few seconds of silence)... 

Daal Chawal khaye Hain, Dahi aur Salad bhi tha

COMMONSENSE VS NON SENSE,

"If two wrongs don't make a right, YOU MAY try the third &

 could make it right! "Life is something to do when you 

can't get to sleep.,

At least YOU become productive in plenty of time at your disposal in the night , with eyes wide awake? that too without anybody being able to see you? and your wrongs only are known confined 

ONLY to you!


"The better I get to know men, the more I find myself

 loving dogs.

but the only problem they understand my gestures but I cant"


Sports is like a war without the killing. If don't believe me then see the ASIAN GAMES live going in CHINA

 and see what a fight is going on? Not far lands but for medals ""


I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that

 I am a mortal, shall someday die, which is not TRUE

 I am trying to follow the best of the health practices,

 helping people to live happily as ever, I am sure my 

noble deeds SHALL make live FOREVER IN THEIR HEARTS, 

Do I still need an Insurance cover?

""Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."" what about you?

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.from

 their recorded data memory " which are not capable of 

solving my problems"
I'm willing to admit that I may not always be right, 

but I believe am never wrong." too?


"Writing books is the closest to men ever having to come near

 to like a childbearing."
"Whenever you want to marry someone,

 go have lunch with his ex-wife." you may have to Rethink "


The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time." 

in worrying AND identifying opportunities, about how to

 make money to survive ?"The opportunity once knocked.at my door

  My doorman threw him out" believing it to be an intruder?

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.

 Just like everyone else. Then why to lose your identity by imitating others" and feel like an inferior copy cat?

Health food makes me sick." as criminals irk me

 with their high earning capacity?"Obviously, crime pays, 

or there'd be no crime and an elite class of criminals in Politics?


.""Laugh and the world laughs with you, 

start SNORING and you have to sleep alone.

" your wife also slipping away to another room ?"

Morning comes whether you set the alarm or not.

"Provided you have windows in your bedroom " 

Similarly, Money can't buy love, but it improves your

 bargaining power"

"I have had to face more trouble with myself & my own 

thinking, than with any other PERSON in the world I've met."?

"I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
"The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man

 is when he is a baby." if you marry her, you must understand

 that

"Marriage is given and take. You'd better give it to her

 or she'll take it anyway." "Most women set out to try to 

change a man, and when they have changed him

 they do not like him."

"If at first, you don't succeed, in any of your moves?

 failure may be your preferred style." 

If people laugh at you for your moves? " 

then you ought to believe that 

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious in your

 moving style."

"All women should know how to take care of children. 

Most of them will have a husband someday."

"A man in love is incomplete until he has married. 

Till he's finished."

"True friends stab you in the front."
"The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, 

you're still a rat."

"Women are wiser than men because they know less 

and understand more.""The older I grow the more I distrust 

the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom."

"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family

 in another city."

"Most of our obstacles would melt away
if, instead of cowering before them,
we should make up our minds
to walk boldly through them."

"There is only one way to defeat the enemy, 

and that is to write as well as one can. 

The best argument is an undeniably good book."

"We have to have the money to do the work we want to do,

 as well as to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.

 Fat commissions are good, but not always easy to come by, 

and each new painting takes its time. So we need to find every

way possible to earn extra income from our work.

"It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back

 and regret."

"I have always thought the actions of men the best 

interpreters of their thoughts."

"Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when 

your position falls, your ego goes with it."
It is always better to keep on doing something every day 

and commit mistakes than keep waiting indefinitely to achieve

perfection to start working. Mistakes are not

the only test of our abilities but also a continuation of our efforts!


In youth we learn; so many things but wait to apply most of

 them in our old age, because we start analytical understanding

 of everything at the fag end, when we have come out of our

 the rat race for our own survival and family obligations., 

we the seniors believe that "The young minds really do not 

know enough to match the experiences of older generations,

" they are a restless pool of untapped raw energy? 

they are not Prudent as well ?, AND therefore they are daring 

and adventurous, who can dare to attempt the impossible? 

--and surprisingly they achieve it, comfortably, generation 

after generations. much faster and better than their mentors,

MORAL of the story is, too much reliance on experience 

slows down your overall performances?


A humble reminder in this Wedding Season to Newly Wedded

 Couples & All of us too: Remember this great Quote always:

 "Third person never creates misunderstanding between two

 people, but a misunderstanding between two people creates

 space for the third Person always"

....Have a great start to a new week!!

Life is just not an ordinary excursion trip in the world.

 where tourists come and leave at their will. life has a cycle unique for each and every
living being on this earth, some live for a few moments and few

live for years after years?
their genetics formation has determined them all for their time of procreation, life, death. and so on,

human beings are included too.

3 DOSTON KI KAHANI
gyaan
Daulat
Bharosa
Tino Dost They Ek Aisa Waqt Aaya ke Tino ko Juda Hona Pada.

Tino Ne Ek Dusrey Se Sawal kiya ke Wo kahan Jayenge ?
Gyaan Bola : Main education institute aur School Jaunga
Daulat Ne kaha : Main Mahal or Ameeron ke Pas Jaunga
Lekin Bharosa Khamosh Raha
Dono Ne Wajah Poochi To Bharose Ne Thandi Aah Bhar ke kaha

Main 1 Baar Chala Gaya, Toh Phir Kabhi Wapas Nahi Aaunga 

Police: Khabar hai k aapke Ghar me visphotak samagari hai.
Santa-Sir khabar to ekdum pakki hai par Wo abhi Maike gyi Hain... :))

पुलिस ने एक बार संता को पकड लिया , और बोले तुम्हारे घर क़ी तलाशी लेनी है ,हमे पता चला है क़ी तुम्हारे घर में विस्फोटक सामिग्री है ?

संता :- सर खबर तो एकदम पक्की है , पर वो अभी माइके गई हुई है ....

आप के चारों और इतने लोग हैं ? और सभी अपनी अपनी विशेषताएँ लिये 

अपने कार्यों में व्येस्त हैं, आप जिनसे भी मिलेंगे ,आप को उनसे कुछ न कुछ

 सीखने को मिलेगा , उनेह सुनना व् उनकी बातों से कुछ सीखना , 

हमारे ही काम आता है ? क्यों क़ी कोई इंसान सब कुछ नहीं जानता ,

पर सारे इंसान कुछ न कुछ अवश्य जानते हैं ,आपको उनसे सीखने

 के लिये अपने अहम् का परित्याग करना होगा व् उनेह आदर सहित 

सुनना होगा !

Listen to everyone and learn from everyone.BECAUSE
Nobody knows everything but everyone knows something..!!...good


मरीज : डाक्टर साहिब मैं शाम को छे बजे आ जाऊं ?
डाक्टर : मैं शाम छे बजे के बाद अपने क्लिनिक पर नहीं बैठता हूँ !
मरीज :तो क्या छे बजे के बाद आप खडे होकर मरीजों को देखते हैं ?

एक चोर रात किसी घर में चोरी करने को घुसा , उसने तिजोरी तोडने

 क़ी कोशिश क़ी उसकी नज़र तिजोरी पर लगी एक चिट पर पड़ी !

" तिजोरी का ताला तोडने क़ी जरुरत नहीं है ",
सिर्फ तिजोरी पर लगे बटनों से 100 नंबर प्रेस कर्रें ?

 तिजोरी खुद बी खुद खुल जायेगी !
यह पढ़ कर चोर ने वैसा ही किया , थोड़ी ही देर में पुलिस वहां पहुँच गई 

और उसे धर दबोचा !
चोर ने जाते जाते मालिक को घुर कर देखा और बोला , 

" तुम्हारे इस धोके से मेरा पूरी इन्सनिअत पर से विश्वास उठ गया है !


Dr Rockfeller was the first American multi-billionaire amongst

 the whole world business community, He established

 "Standard Oil company in the USA and became the first billionaire

 of the world in the year 1916"

The highest reward for a man's toil is not what he gets out of it

 but what he becomes out of it.his hard work and the 

consequential transformation in his life is the true achievement,

 which goes a long way with him till his death?

Life shrinks and expands in proportion to one's courage.

 AND APPLICATION OF HIS MIND JUDICIOUSLY?


एक रोमांटिक जोड़ा पार्क में बैठा हुआ था की 

अचानक एक कुत्ता और उसकी फिऑन्स कुतिया भागते भागते आये

 और कुत्ता कुतिया आपस में एक दुसरे को चूमने चाटने लगे ,

लड़का :- जानू अगर तुम बुरा न मानो तो मैं भी 

लड़की : ओके पर प्लीज जरा संभल कर जाना , कुतिया तुम्हे काट न ले 

"Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can

 be changed until it is faced."

The utility is when you have one telephone,
luxury is when you have two,
and paradise is when you have none.

You Are Born Without Anything But You Die With Your Name.

.So"That Name Must Not Be A Word only, It Must Be A History.

VIGYAAN KAHTA HAI.. "JEEBH Pe" Lagi Chot...Sabse Jaldi 

Theek hoti hai... Aur GYAAN KAHTA HAI ki.. 

JEEBH "Se" Lagi Chot Kabhi bhi Theek Nahi Hoti.

 So think 1000 times Before you React while Angry!!! 

Most Powerful weapon to Hurt someone is this small 

Boneless Tongue while the same tongue can win million

 Hearts & Make us the Most adorable, Loving Person!! 

Beware of its intensity either way so better use it cautiously!!!

One: I am the fourth husband of my wife.
Two: You are not a husband but a habit.


There are three secrets to success:
The first is "Keep your eyes and ears open."
The second is "Don't tell everything you know."

A blind boy who used TO hate everyone except his girlfriend.

.. he always uses to say that I will marry you...

.suddenly one day someone donated eyes to that boy...

when he saw his girlfriend he was shocked to see that

 she was also blind...his girlfriend asked.

. will you marry me now?.
he simply refused her rudely.

.his girlfriend did not say a word to him...

she smiled & went away with a letter saying.

.you are seeing through my eyes
take care of my eyes!!


Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.

 Small people always do that, but the really great make

you feel that you,

too, can become great. Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant. -


Santa falls in love with a nurse… but feels shy about how to address her

? After much thinking, he finally
writes a love letter to her:
“I love you sister.”
Santa was caught for over speeding and was produced

 before the judge.
The judge: What’ll you take 30 days or Rs 3000.

 as punishment?
Santa: I think I’ll take the money.,I need it very much

Santa: Today I’m a proud father. My son has been admitted 

in medical college.
Banta: What’? he studying? medicine or surgery ”
Santa: He’s not studying, they are studying him!and

 will be operated soon


Santa appeared for an interview and was asked:-
What’s Ford?
Santa: Car.
and What’s Oxford?
Santa: So simple, Car driven by an Ox

Santa becomes electrician and
A lady calls Santa for repairing doorbell.
Santa doesn’t turn up for 4 days.
Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days,

 I press the bell but no one comes out


Teacher: What contents should be in a book to make it

 a bestseller?
Pappu: sir very hot selling idea!A girl on the cover and 

no cover on the girl.


Santa was appointed a police officer on special duty: and

 a lady came to lodge a complaint
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 

5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet! I am desperately waiting for

 him!
Santa: Why ? why are you waiting for him so long?

Cant, you cook something else?

कौन है पानी में कितने, सब पता हो जाएगा
मुश्किलें आएँगी जब, ये फ़ैसला हो जाएगा
दूरियाँ दिल की अगरचे, बढ़ भी जाएँ हमनवा
तुम बढ़ाना इक कदम, तय फासला हो जायेगा

आहिस्ता चल ज़िन्दगी, अभी कई क़र्ज़ चुकाना बाकी है, 

कुछ दर्द मिटाना बाकी है, कुछ फ़र्ज़ निभाना बाकी है;
रफ्तार में तेरे चलने से कुछ रूठ गए, कुछ छुट गए ;
रूठों को मनाना बाकी है, रोतो को हसाना बाकी है ;

कुछ हसरतें अभी अधूरी है, कुछ काम भी और ज़रूरी है ;
ख्वाइशें जो घुट गयी इस दिल में, उनको दफनाना अभी बाकी है ;
कुछ रिश्ते बनके टूट गए, कुछ जुड़ते जुड़ते छूट गए;
उन टूटे-छूटे रिश्तों के ज़ख्मों को मिटाना बाकी है ;

तू आगे चल में आता हु, क्या छोड़ तुजे जी पाऊंगा ?
इन साँसों पर हक है जिनका,उनको समझाना बाकी है ;
आहिस्ता चल जिंदगी ,अभी कई क़र्ज़ चुकाना बाकी है ।

ये चन्द पंक्तियाँ जिसने भी लिखी है खूब लिखी है
ग़लतियों से जुदा
तू भी नही, मैं भी नही,
दोनो इंसान हैं,
खुदा तू भी नही,  मैं भी नही ... !
" तू मुझे ओर मैं तुझे
इल्ज़ाम देते हैं मगर,
अपने अंदर झाँकता
तू भी नही, मैं भी नही " ... !!
" ग़लत फ़हमियों ने कर दी
दोनो मैं पैदा दूरियाँ,
वरना फितरत का बुरा
तू भी नही,  और मैं भी नही...!!
➖➖➖➖➖
एक पथ्थर सिर्फ एक बार मंदिर
जाता है और भगवान बन जाता है ..
इंसान हर रोज़ मंदिर जाते है फिर
भी पथ्थर ही रहते है ..!!
➖➖➖➖➖
एक औरत बेटे को जन्म देने के लिये
अपनी सुन्दरता त्याग देती है.......
और वही बेटा एक सुन्दर बीवी के लिए
अपनी माँ को त्याग देता है
➖➖➖➖➖जीवन में हर जगह हम "जीत" चाहते हैं...
सिर्फ फूलवाले की दूकान ऐसी है
जहाँ हम कहते हैं कि "हार" चाहिए।
क्योंकि हम भगवान से "जीत"
नहीं सकते।
➖➖➖➖➖
धीमें से पढ़े बहुत ही अर्थपूर्ण है यह
मेसेज...
हम और हमारे ईश्वर,
दोनों एक जैसे हैं।
जो रोज़ भूल जाते हैं...
वो हमारी गलतियों को,
हम उसकी मेहरबानियों को।
➖➖➖➖➖
एक सुविचार
वक़्त का पता नहीं चलता अपनों के
साथ.....
पर अपनों का पता चलता है, वक़्त के
साथ...
वक़्त नहीं बदलता अपनों के साथ,
पर अपने ज़रूर बदल जाते हैं वक़्त के
साथ...!!!
➖➖➖➖➖
ज़िन्दगी पल-पल ढलती है,
जैसे रेत मुट्ठी से फिसलती है...
शिकवे कितने भी हो हर पल,
फिर भी हँसते रहना...क्योंकि ये
ज़िन्दगी जैसी भी है,

बस एक ही बार मिलती है।

जरूर पढ़े...

एक आदमी जंगल से गुजर रहा था । उसे चार स्त्रियां मिली।

उसने पहली से पूछा - बहन तुम्हारा नाम क्या हैं ?
उसने कहा "बुद्धि "
तुम कहां रहती हो?
मनुष्य के दिमाग में।

दूसरी स्त्री से पूछा - बहन तुम्हारा नाम क्या हैं ?
" लज्जा "।
तुम कहां रहती हो ?
आंख में ।

तीसरी से पूछा - तुम्हारा क्या नाम हैं ?
"हिम्मत"
कहां रहती हो ?
दिल में ।

चौथी से पूछा - तुम्हारा नाम क्या हैं ?
"तंदुरूस्ती"
कहां रहती हो ?
पेट में।

वह आदमी अब थोडा आगे बढा तों फिर उसे चार पुरूष मिले।
उसने पहले पुरूष से पूछा - तुम्हारा नाम क्या हैं ?
" क्रोध "
कहां रहतें हो ?
दिमाग में,
दिमाग में तो बुद्धि रहती हैं,
तुम कैसे रहते हो?
जब मैं वहां रहता हुं तो बुद्धि वहां से विदा हो जाती हैं।

दूसरे पुरूष से पूछा - तुम्हारा नाम क्या हैं ?
उसने कहां -" लोभ"।
कहां रहते हो?
आंख में।
आंख में तो लज्जा रहती हैं तुम कैसे रहते हो।
जब मैं आता हूं तो लज्जा वहां से प्रस्थान कर जाती हैं ।

तीसरें से पूछा - तुम्हारा नाम क्या हैं ?
जबाब मिला "भय"।
कहां रहते हो?
दिल में।
दिल में तो हिम्मत रहती हैं तुम कैसे रहते हो?
जब मैं आता हूं तो हिम्मत वहां से नौ दो ग्यारह हो जाती हैं।

चौथे से पूछा तुम्हारा नाम क्या हैं?
उसने कहा - "रोग"।
कहां रहतें हो?
पेट में।
पेट में तो तंदरूस्ती रहती हैं?
🔰जब मैं आता हूं तो तंदरूस्ती वहां से रवाना हो जाती हैं।

🍁 
जीवन की हर विपरीत परिस्थिथि में यदि हम उपरोक्त वर्णित 

बातो को याद रखे तो कई चीजे टाली जा सकती है ।
🔱💲🔱💲🔱
😊
जरा मुस्कुरा के देख,
दुनिया हसती नजर आएगी!
🌅
सुबह सैर कर के तो देख, 
तेरी सेहत ठीक हो जाएगी!
🍺
व्यसन छोड के तो देख, 
तेरी इज्जत बन जाएगी! 
🏦
खर्च घटा कर के तो देख,
तुझे अच्छी नीँद आएगी!
💰
मेहनत कर के तो देख, 
पैसे की तंगी चली जाएगी! 
🔮
संसार की अच्छाई तो देख, 
तेरी बुराई भाग जाएगी! 
🔔
ईश्वर का ध्यान कर के तो देख,
तेरी उलझने दुर हो जाएगी! 
🙏
माता पिता की बात मान कर तो
देख, 
तेरी जिन्दगी संवर जाएगी!