हिसाब किताब , रखने का "आसान तरीका "KEEP YOUR ACCOUNTS FOOL PROOF ------ NO AUDITS REQUIRED.?

नई नई शादी हुई थी , पति ने पत्नी से कहा :-हमारे कमरे की जो अलमारी है न ? उसमे एक दराज मेरा होगा ! जिसे तुम भी खोल कर कभी नहीं देखोगी . मैं उस पर अपना लाक लगा कर रखूँगा .
पत्नी ने कोई इतराज नहीं किया और ख़ुशी से एक दराज अपने पति को ताला लगाने दिया , पति ने उसमे अपना सामान रखना शुरू कर दिया , सब कुछ ठीक ठाक चलता रहा .
 तीस साल बीत गए ,अचानक एक दिन पत्नी ने देखा की आज दराज का ताला , पति लगाना भूल गए हैं ,उसने उसमे झांक कर देखा तो पाया की उसमे " तीन गोल्फ की बाल्स और सिर्फ १०००/- रुपए नकद थे "


पति के लोटने पर उसने दराज खोल कर दिखाते हुए कहा " यह क्या रखा है इसमें , गोल्फ बाल्स ?" इसी के लिए तुम इसे लाक कर के रखते थे ? पति ने खुद को संभालते हुए बोला " दरअसल यह बाल्स मैंने अपनी महिला मित्रों की गिनती रखने के लिए रखी हैं ,"मैं जब भी अपनी किसी महिला मित्र के साथ घुमने जाता था तो लोट कर एक बाल दराज में डाल देता था " तीन गोल्फ बाल्स देख कर पत्नी बड़ी खुश हुई की चलो पिच्छले तीस सालों में उसके पति ने सिर्फ तीन बार बेवफाई की ?


पत्नी :-लेकिन यह १०००/रुपे सिर्फ ?

पति ने कुछ सोचते हुए बोला :- शायद जब बाल्स काफी हो जाती थी न , दराज भर जाती थी , तो मै बाल्स को १२/- रुपए दर्जन के हिसाब से बेच देता था , यह उसी के पैसे हैं , मैंने अभी तक हिसाब ही  नहीं जोड़ा था 1

राजेंद्र नागपाल

LIGHTER MOMENTS OF OUR TENSE LIFE !

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven...

A priest and a taxi driver both died in an accident, and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them. 

“Come with me”, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a huge mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic-size swimming pool.
“Wow, thank you!”, said the taxi driver. 

Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.with no other amenities visible?
“Wait, I think you are a little mixed up”, said the Priest. “Shouldn't I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God's word.” did my best to help others.?

“Yes, that's true. But during your sermons, people slept.  while,When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.”to save them from his terrible driving.

LIGHTER MOMENTS OF OUR TENSE LIFE !

Boyfriend

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother,s room one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?" you live all alone ?

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set it in my bedroom and watch it all day long and fall asleep with it. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good.

The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible,screen was blurring because of some loose connection. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door.

When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."
 

Hansna mana hai

JUDGE- Jab tumhara rape 3 din pehle hua  tha to tumne 3 din bad FIR kyon darj karwai?

GIRL- un logo ne jo mujeh cheque diya tha jab wo bounce hua tab pata chala ki rape hua hai...

           

               aur cheque bouncing ! ka kes bhi darj karwana hai mai baap !